There are several methods to prepare a household for watching sports on a Sunday afternoon. The Super Bowl is fast approaching and the World Series is anticipated later in the year. One must practice these methods in order to master their use before the big day arrives. While largely second nature to most sports enthusiasts, whether they are male or female, their use might require a substantial investment in time and money.
First, watching sports requires the proper equipment. While some people still rely upon the use of fingers – you should have both spoons and forks available for your guests. Such equipment is essential. An alternative is to use a good tortilla chip if you don’t have enough forks and spoons. You can keep your eye on the game as you dip a chip into queso. Tortilla chips and a good seven layer dip are essential in my State of Texas, but sports viewing parties may require the use of local favorites.
Now, there is great debate among sports fans as to whether you should utilize canned beer, bottled beer, or fresh beer in a keg. Large parties should exclusively use kegs of beer, which will allow guests easy access to the liquid gold. Everyone knows that you can’t have a proper argument regarding one-eyed cyclops wearing zebra suits without sufficient beer. One must also have enough beer to last every guest through the game – should the game be long and filled with disputed fouls.
You should also make sure you have different types of beer available, such as a good apple ale, a blonde pale ale, and yes – root beer for the tea sippers.
Watching sports in a mixed environment will often lead to a condition where guests separate themselves into groups rooting for one team or the other. You will also notice that one group sits alone – interested in the tactics of the game, but not really picking one team to win. Be ware of these people. They are sneaky. They came for the food and the free beer.
If you choose to order pizza, please do NOT order a vegetarian pizza. The last thing you should do is encourage vegetarians to watch sports. You’ll ruin the art of watching sports for all other sports fans for all time and eternity. It’s okay to put vegetables on a pizza in combination with meat, but never ever order a meatless pizza. To be certain that this never happens, always fire up the grill and put some charcoal marks on hamburgers, sausages, and chicken. You can also order chicken wings of various flavors – or make your own. Everybody knows that drinking beer requires eating meat. Vegetarians should have their own parties.
Finally, avoid falafels. You may not know it, but falafels are NOT good sports watching food. They make you fart. The last thing you need while watching an athletic event is some soccer mom cutting cheese on the couch. If kids are present, this makes falafels even more deadly – as kids will then also fart and then blame it on the soccer mom, who will get embarrassed and poke her partner in the side suggesting that they leave. If you serve falafels, you’ll regret it because it will kill your party.
In the end, watching sports on a Sunday afternoon is an enjoyable endeavor. It can be a great community event, family event, or just an excursion and diversion that can be enjoyed in the company of friends.
Don’t forget to have fun. That’s what sports, whether watching or participating, is all about!
